A Disturbing Post

I walked into my living room today to find a shocking scene. This seen was so shocking that I felt at lest a couple volts of energy as I entered the room. In my very own living room was a cult-meeting-thing. That’s right, a cult.

And this was no ordinary cult. From my limited knowledge of cults I found this one to be quite different. Different, as in happy. They called themselves The Brotherhood of Happiness.

Apparently during my tight work schedule they found my house a free environment to “cult.” (Verb?) But upon arrival to my living room, I was thoroughly glared at. So I was awkwardly forced to leave.

I soon developed a plan, however, to gain entrance into the cult to find a way to disassemble it from the inside. Unfortunately, my plan failed.

I was soon escorted by the gentleman(who was wearing the same shirt as me) in the back of the room to another place out of the way, which turned out to be my bathroom.

So, if you want to get together at my place any Thursday morning between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m., you might want to put that plan on hold.

Pita Chip Review

From the makers of propane, dehydrated water, and carbon monoxide comes a brand new tasteless, odorless, and fat-free product!

The product is Pita Chips. Originally designed by NASA (National Association of Silly Acronyms), this product is perfect for the person without the sense of smell in your life. With it’s rich creamy baked-in flavor-lacking-ness, it’s as if you’re eating a stale, unsalted saltine cracker.

And with a name like “Simply Naked” how can it not sell? I mean, what a perfect name for something going into your mouth to be digested.

And it’s owned by none other than our very own Stacy! I don’t know about you, but I believe that it is the most fitting name for a pita chip. I’m sure there was an incredibly long meeting sorting out the unfitting names for a pita chip like: Sam, Bill, George, Joe, Ned, Bertha, Spot, Lucky, and Bob, but doesn’t Stacy just fit?

And who can forget the long, drawn out court battle for the use of the name. I actually believed the representatives from new line of women’s lotions would have been awarded the name, but there must have just been a good crew on the legal team.

A message to all you stockholders and other others thinking to buy-in! I have just received a tip that Stacy is planning to release a new product expected to hit the market sometime soon. The new product is “canned bananas.” So if you have the capitol buy more stocks, or as Stacy likes to call them, “stockings.” If you don’t have the capitol, raise some.
Well, that concludes my review of the not-so-new, not-so-controversial, and not-so-widely-heard-of product. I give it 2 87/1000 of 5 stars.

If you are interested in other products with a female touch, after eating delicious pita chips clean your face with Clarissa napkins.